Defamation of Character tells an original story in the GTA San Andreas engine, and that obviously involves new characters. Here's the perp sheet:

Jack Thompson

Jack Thompson is an attorney who operates out of Miami Florida, working under the assumption that video games are murder simulators, "specifically designed through the marvels of virtual reality to break down and obliterate right from wrong." He often argues that killers have been trained on video games, and also often changes the argument up, claiming instead that the video games have conditioned the killer into acting out violence, many times referring to them as Manchurian Candidates. People don't kill people, digital representations of people killing people kill people.

No, his arguments really don't get any better than that, and I'd imagine he often finds himself angry and firing off another press release along with another dozen letters to the President. And then he probably reflects on himself for a moment, reaching something bordering on self realiziation as he asks, "Why doesn't he ever write back?" But before he lets that affect his thoughts and actions, he starts filling the page with more illogical demands and more threats lacking consequence, or so I imagine Thompson passes the days. That is, obviously, when he's not making one of his over 60 national television appearances, or doing an interview with Reader's Digest, last bastion of truly fine political reporting. Or when he's not busy telling someone about being on tv 60 times, or being in Reader's Digest. Basically Jack is the dramatic middle school girl who loves passing rumors because her name gets added to the front of the story in the form of, "So and so told me..."

 

Banman

Banman is Jack Thompson's alter ego, ying to his yang, Mello Yello to his Mountain Dew. From his tireless study of Microsoft's Halo, Thompson has instinctually learned to regenerate a force shield around him, just like he picked up on moving really fast, which slows his perception to a crawl, by studying Max Payne: Lone Gunman. Are they original powers? No, but they get the killing done, damnit. As a criminal vigilante, Banman's actions are officially frowned upon by the police, a fact which is only compounded by Banman's frequently repeated murder of police officers as he makes his escape from their clutches. Not much other is really known about Banman, except that he likes popsicles, stinks like hell, and was absolutely not inspired by Rorschach of Alan Moore's Watchmen.

 

Doug Lowenstein

Doug Lowenstein is president of the Entertainment Software Association, and according to Jack Thompson, worse than Sadam Husein and the Nazis combined, but that could just be Jack's flair for drama acting up again. Let's just let Jack take it from here: "Doug never met a pixelated prostitute he didn't like."

"Lowenstein's approach, as always, is to question Assemblyman Yee's motives. No opponent could possibly be acting upon principle, in the world according to Doug Lowenstein. Only he is the oracle of truth. All others are scum. It is his way."

Again, we see both Jack's frequent brushes with self realization, as well as his ability to serve as his own parody, simply by not managing to grasp that self realization. It's a tragic cycle really.

"His approach, as the President of your Entertainment Software Association, is to demonize critics and to engage in ad hominem jihads intended to obscure real concerns about real industry abuses. All this does is deepen the resolve of your critics to act. I know."

I bet you know now, eh Jacky boy?

Damn his inability to see the mirror is scary though, isn't it? Lowenstein makes ad hominem attacks? When did Lowenstein ever say Thompson was a stupid, evil, shifty liar? I don't remember reading that press release of his, but I do remember reading about three of four by Jack sayig the same of Mr. Lowenstein. This gives us a good chance to analyze the way in which Thompson's mind takes something in and transforms it into what he wants to see, but this isn't really a special trait of Jack's, as my crazy cousin does the same damn thing when he talks to Elvis.

Janet Reno

Jack had his first serious run in with Janet Reno back in 1988, when both ran for the seat of Dade County State Attorney. During this election Thompson devised the brilliant political strategy of accusing his competitor of being a closeted alcoholic lesbian, which is fine in and of itself, but as Thompson was quick to point out, she would have been ripe pickings when organized crime came around needing to black mail someone, and that's bad. Thompson was so obsessed with this line of inquiry, that during a public debate he walked over and handed Reno a sheet of paper reading, "I, Janet Reno, am A. Heterosexual B. Homosexual C. Bisexual," with this condition printed across the bottom, "I understand that if I have not returned this by such and such a date, I will automatically have admitted to being one of the bottom two choices." Reno crumpled it up and threw it away.

Since this election, which he obviously lost, Thompson has repeatedly harassed Reno as the "Man in Miami," for Newsmax.com, accusing her of suppressing drunk driving arrests, suffering from senility and hallucinations, and once even accused her of having sex with an inmate on suicide watch in her cell. Some choice Jack quotes on Reno,

"The only male in Janet Reno's life is blackmail."

"I knew she was a lesbian, and that troubled me as Christian, But it doesn't disqualify her as Attorney General or as State Attorney at the time. The problem is that she is in the closet about it, which raises the blackmail option."

"John bliss told Mike and me that five Dade County Police Officers were ready, willing, and able to testify that they, separate and apart from each other, had pulled over Janet Reno for driving under the influence while she was State Attorney. She had pressured them not to fill out an arrest form. They didn't because they knew to arrest Janet Reno in this community would mean the end of their law enforcement careers."

 

2 Live Crew

Jack's first big kill, and still his largest claim to fame. Jack managed to get 2 Live Crew's album As Nasty As They Wanna Be labeled as obscenity, thereby insuring that every teenager in America wanted a copy, landing nation wide press for the band, ultimately leading to the album selling over two million copies. Way to get 'em, Jack.

Jack later gunned them down outside the courtroom in a rage.